May 10, 2010

Angst and Anticipation...

My husband and I have been going through quite a long economic struggle,
having been greatly affected by the financial  woes of our country!
Our story is much too long and detailed to even begin to started with a simple request for a loan payment modification but became a journey riddled with frustrations, disappointments, humiliation, misrepresentation and defeats.
Our faith has been put to the test during this well as our commitment and reliance on one another.
Although we have been exhausted by the legal battles and brought to tears many times....we both feel that our relationship with God and each other, has been strengthened in ways that would not have happened otherwise.

There are only days left at this point that we can remain in our "Cozy Cottage".
We are making a major "downsize" that has required us to sell and give away many of our "things"!
But this forced stripping is becoming a wonderful gift.
The meaning of a house and its furnishings has dramatically changed for us through this challenge.
There is a sense of freedom and a feeling of freshness that is taking the place of our loss and regret.
There is a resilient spirit and a genuine alliance that is filling our souls.

Although we never dreamed we would be in this position...we now know that was a foolish thought...for none of us know when our life may take a sudden turn that was never on our original map!
We are unexpectedly finding ourselves feeling joyful eagerness for the new vision God is preparing us for...
...even high hopes and giddy anticipation for what is to come.

We never dreamed we would be in this position either, able to feel okay about what is happening
and able to let "things" go so easily.
It has been a process, for sure, and it is not over.
How will we feel when we close the door on this house and walk away?
How will we feel in the next moment?
That is the biggest lesson of all...Trust in the Lord; minute by minute; hour by hour; day by day!
To go to Him first and last....and to stand firm in faith and love!

Needless to say...I have been swamped with the tasks that go along with moving...
and have little time for anything else.
But soon the dust will settle and I will be able to tell the next story...the tale of what is waiting around the corner!

And until is my prayer for me and you:


Laura said...

Dearest Carrie-
You are not alone in this. The world of blogging has shown me that many times over.
Your wildest dreams are getting ready to come true.

Hang on,

Blondie's Journal said...


I hope and pray all works out for you. There is a new door for you to open and I hope you love what is waiting on the other side. Big hugs!


rosechicfriends said...

Oh your words really spoke truth to me as my hubs and I have lived w/him w/o a job now for over 20 months and living on our retirement that I am grateful we had the foresight to do 30 years ago. But like you, our lives are so up in the air I am NOT sure what path God is leading us down and this is our new normal for now. We KNOW God has a plan and a job..just wish it would come sooner than later.

Stay strong in Him he will be your strength when you are weak and lift you up when you need Him too! It has been the ONLY way I have made it sanely through this time.

Letting go isn't such a bad thing, huh?

Deborah said...

Oh Carrie, this is so beautifully written that it almost seems inappropriate to say that I am so very sorry, for you and your husband have been given such a great gift of faith. I have goosebumps right now. I have heard similar things said by people who have lost everything to a fire...the freeing of the material things. The memories made there will remain alive forever. With this gift of great faith, God certainly has a plan for new life...and when God gives new life, that is always an awesome thing. Lifting you in prayer for continued strength from The One who knows our every need. All my love to you, my friend. Deb

Colleen - the AmAzINg Mrs. B said...

Hello Carrie..When I thought we were loosing it all..we found what was there all, family, friends..and faith. You have all of are one of the richest in the world! Hang in there Sweetie!!!

CACHANILLA73 said...

Oh, I understand, it is very hard. My Boricua is outta work due to medical reasons, at this point, we don't know where we are heading, but I know God is leading the way. I know I'll let go of many things, things as My Dear Father used to say, I won't take to the grave with me, so they are not important.
Many blessings in this new adventure.


Country Dreaming said...

Good Luck and keep the faith.
When Ken was unemployed it was hard and the faith was tested a lot but in the end we finally prevailed.
I'm sorry to hear that you find yourself in this situation, hopefully you can keep your favorite things.
Bless you!



Hi Carrie,
First...I have a picture of my sisters and me with the PONY!!! The man said I was too heavy to sit on the pony (that wasn't nice and not ture)...I'll show it sometime :)
Thanks for showing yours.
God truly holds us UP all the time. We have been living off our savings for the last 2 years...and it's almost gone. God provides a closing just when we need it. I'll be praying for you!
Take care.
Deb :)

Lisa said...

Oh sweetie! I am glad you are moving into a new adventure in life. How silly I have felt when I clung to things that in the end were not what I needed or really wanted. Change is hard but when you can look at it as a new chapter and move into it, it all seems to go well and we are still us and all the important things are still with us! I will be praying with you the whole way. I look forward to hearing about your new chapter.
Hugs and prayers, Lisa

The Queen Of Re said...


Your faith shines.

As I was reading your post I was listening to the Song "I am not alone" by Natalie Grant.No kidding I could not believe it.

Have you heard it before?

My you blessed to know that you are not alone. Claim HIS promises for your life.

Prayers going up for you and your family.

La Bella Vie said...

Dearest neighbor from Portland (me too) you are not alone. I have heard so many times and in fact have embroidered in a wall hanging: "When it seems hardest to pray, pray hardest".
This is one of those times.
Please know that through these blogs, we are all connected so we will all be praying for you dear friend,

The Strawberry Mallard said...

Oh dear Carrie........know that you are NOT alone and we can all feel what you are going through......we have all been brought to our knees the past year.....and it will be a period in your lives that you will gain newly found strength from...

and dignity, and resilaince.and oh how we DO feel your pain...praying for a continued sense of peace, and trust,in our Father.

Less is more, and when all is said and done, the "things', that leave our life, bring us even closer to Him.
Hugging you tonight, Nancy

grammy said...

So many great encouraging comments
I am never sure what to say as an encouraging word
I feel confidant that you are on the right path....because of the words you shared. You are well loved in blogger world and I am sure even more so in your Family.
I pray for strength for you and your family. ((hugs))

nancygrayce said...

Oh, Carrie! This just makes your gift to Mercy Uganda so much more gave sacrificially.

One week before my dear FIL died, he looked at us all and said "it is really true, you come into this world with nothing and you leave with nothing".....nothing unless you have Jesus and quite obviously you do! You and your family are in our prayers.

It makes Paul's scripture of knowing how to be with and without...just so much more meaningful.

With many prayers and much love in Christ and with His everlasting arms underneath you!


Diane said...

Well I don't think you need much more encouragement such lovely comments. You will find this trial is a step towards finding a new path. Congratulations on your Garage Sale! Feels good to lightened your load. Hugs & Kisses, Diane

Sewn With Grace said...

Carrie, I am so sorry for the struggles but so love reading all the blessing that has come from it. Can't wait to see what the Lord has planned next for you. More blessings lie just around the corner!

RosieP said...

HI Carrie, I really hope everything works out well for you,I'm sure it will in the end. Blessings to you my dear.

Hugs RosieP x

Cindy (Letters From Midlife) said...

I didn't realize you were going through this. Yours is a story I've heard from people I know and so many of them have come through it seeing it as a blessing in disguise as their forced downsizing has given them a freedom and simplicity that they always wanted.

I took a few moments to lift you and your family in prayer as you see what God has in store for you.

Holly- Girls At Heart said...

At times like these you can almost FEEL yourself growing, can't you? big blessings now and ahead for you, Carrie! ♥

Cindy (Letters From Midlife) said...

p.s. I mentioned your blog at mine in my post today.

Debbie said...

Oh Carrie, I came here today via Cindy's blog (Letters from Midlife) and I'm so glad I did.

I too have recently gone through what it appears you are going through. We had to move out of our dream home (4,000 sq ft) into a rental of 1,100 sq ft. Therefore, there was no room for my stuff. I sold all of my furniture and so many of my precious books and 'things'. But in many ways, I don't even remember all the stuff I had.

I am learning that it's all material stuff and can be taken away at any time. However, I want to focus on what cannot be taken away and to instead be about the Father's Kingdom business. Sometimes our stuff gets in the way.

So glad to read the lessons you are learning in the midst of this difficult season. We can all learn from you.

God bless you,

JG said...

As you take a step down a new path, a new chapter of your life begins. With all of your skills - you have listed a few in your profile - it will be a good chapter!

Stella said...

How blessed are you to know that The Lord has a plan for you. I know sometimes to accept life even when you know this is hard. Because of th economy my husband and I have both had to go back to work at 70. It sure wasn't what we planned to be doing at this age. I look forward to hearing about your new life and admire you for your grace and attitude.

Patty said...

May the Lord Jesus guide you in your time of angst, yet anticipation. Blessings.

Teresa said...

What a testimony Sweet Dear Carrie.
Isn't it weird how we can be busy living our own lives and not realize what others are suffering through...journey through...headed towards.
I am a firm believer that those that walk in the darkness...
in the valley...
are the BLESSED ones in this life.
To walk with HIM so closely...
you must be stripped of all things material...
you must be on your knees...
in desperation...
for it is at these moments...
we truly do...
grasp WHO HE IS.
You are one of the blessed ones Carrie.
You heart has been held and touched by HIM as many hearts never are.
He has chosen you...
because He saw so many things in you that HE needs.
He knew you were strong enough to endure the heartache...through HIM...and come out on the other side...glorifying HIM!
He calls on His special ones to do minister in these sweet inspiring ways.
I'm so sad you have to leave your cottage behind.
Your sweet cottage filled with all of the sweet memories.
But this is the challenge.
So often he chooses the most special things for us to have to let go of...
and then when we SHINE for him...
he rewards us past the pain in ways that we never could have even dreamed up ourselves!
I have seen it time and time and time again!
Such a beautiful process/cycle.
You are in my thoughts...
and my prayers.
You will be forever changed now.
Shining and glowing for HIM...
past your pain...past the loss
will be your mission.
I am blessed to know you and look forward to all that is ahead for you and your family as you travel forward in HIS direction!
Oh what a sweet journey it will be.
Shine on Sweet GIrl! Shine on!

heartfelt living said...

My sweet friend,
I'm so sorry to hear about all that you have been through. The lovely posts above have said just what I was feeling in my heart for you.
I'm sure this will be a blessing in disguise.
I truly admire your God sent grace and strength.
You and your family will be in my prayers.

Big Hugs,

birdie blue said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this!
Sending a hug your way,

Leslie said...

Hang in there Carrie and know that we are all here to support you. You are in my prayers.. I hope that the transition is smooth and that the future takes you on an amazing wonderful journey!

Keep the faith!!

Secondhandrose said...

You have such a good attitude and are an inspiration should this happen to any of us. Come in when you can as we will miss you.


GardenofDaisies said...

Oh Carrie, I am so sorry to hear that you have gone through so much these past weeks and that now you are having to leave your home. My heart goes out to you. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Valarie said... thoughts are with you. That prayer was beautiful...It couldn't have been shared at a better time.

Diane said...

Hi it's me Diane stop on by for another It's a Boy Baby Shower Game #2. All winners to announced on Saturday the day of the actual Shower. I have lot's of Games and prizes.Let's Party!

Mags said...

One day a few years ago when I was getting the mail, I looked down on the ground and found this magnet lying in the street. It read "I have called upon you, for you will hear me, Oh God." I tucked it in my wallet and over the next year when our life went to shambles I recited it regularly with faith and hope. We all are put to the test from time to time, aren't we.

Thinking of you and praying for you Carrie.

The Strawberry Mallard said...

Carrie checking in with you tonight...please email me if you need ANYTHING...will coninute to hold you all in prayer!
Hugs, Nancy

Hugs said...

Your scripture for the day is Jeremiah 29:11. ...."For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

Just remember that everything that appears to be a kick down is actually a boost closer to what God has for you. He will take what seems to be your for demise and turn it around for your good.

When Joseph (with the coat of many colors in the Bible) was imprisoned, the imprisonment actually positioned him to be in the right place to have access to the KING and eventually become the King's right-hand man and top advisor. What an odd way to get a promotion!

Carrie, at this moment you are in position for God to get the GLORY in your life. Your outcome will be victorious and I can't wait for the upcoming testimony. You are blessed and highly favored. You have sown seeds of love, kindness and more & blessed many. The windows of heaven will open for you to receive more than you have room for so that you can continue to sow and bless others.

The beauty of this time period in your walk of faith is that your heart is focused on the TRUE TREASURE that moths and rust can't corrupt. You are already a very wealthy woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Debby said...

I wandered here from another post just today. I am sorry for what you are going through. It really has been a rough couple of years. I am hoping nothing but good things come from this. Prayers and Hugs for you and your family.

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Stopped by from Cindy-Letters in Midlife.

We have just walked through this...and will be married 30 years in June, with six children, ages 26 to 4.

It has been very hard! We never dreamed we would be walking this walk at age 49 and 56, but we are.

God has been faithful...even through the tears.

I have learned to allow him to pry the fake pearls from my hands in order for him to give me real pearls...he is a good God.

There are still fearful, anxious and sad days...but those are only putting me on my knees more.

Blessings to you and your family...was so encouraged by what you shared and will be back.

Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry. ((HUGS)) None of us know when but we could all be in this position at any time. We already know that we can't stay in our home when retirement comes, the taxes are way to high. I think that taking a new mortage at 55 was not a smart move for us. I sometimes think that there are simplier ways for us to live. I continue to fill my home with things I don't need. I feel a sense of peace and freedom coming into your life that you will love.
It's never about what you have but who you have to love. God is good and I trust he has a wonderful plan for you.

Elyse said...

hi carrie,

i'm so sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time but how inspiring to also read about your strong faith and love.

i recently read a similar post and think you would like it, too. i hope the link doesn't break apart:

wishing you continued coziness always


Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

What an inspiring post, in the midst of difficulties. I know this was a post many of us needed to read as a reminder of who to lean on during our trials. You'll be in my prayers.

Just a little something from Judy said...

Carrie, I am so sorry and yet so thankful for you and this shared from the heart post. It has blessed my heart in such a real way today. I have been walking this same journey with others close to me lately. It is a difficult time for so many. Your perspective and your faith in our God, just inspired me and others that visited this blog today. I look forward to seeing all that God has ahead for you and your husband. You will remain in my heart and prayers, whenever God brings you to mind. Thank you for your honesty and your encouragement. I've been blessed!

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

I've been out of town this week at a pastor's wives retreat...and this is my first day back on line. know I've been praying...and God' NEXT...will blow your socks off...even, if, in the midst...things seem uncertain!

I <3 ya...and so does HE!

Love the Decor! said...

Carrie I have been where you are(similar anyway) many years ago but I feel it as if it were yesterday. All i can say is GOd is faithful and He always has better around the corner for us than we can ever hope or imagine.
ALthough there is pain in the journey there is joy in the destination. Hang in there sweet friend!

Madame Samm said...

this story has been shared by many...I am saddened how everything can change in a few months, weeks, days...May your "new" life bring you a wealth of hope and comfort, that there is light beyond the darkness...and that you too will be comforted by the prayers..blessings ms

Marie said...

As you know Carrie, Todd and I have just been through the same thing. It is hard to go through and a bit of a wrench, but it will be ok. We have come through the other end and are slowly realizing that it has been a blessing in disguise. I was not happy at my old job, had not been so for a long time and our new smaller house is so much cosier. The imporant thing is you have each other. Shall keep you in my prayers. XXOO

Annie of Blue Gables said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

Nishant said...

I am so sorry to hear about this
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vivian said...

HI Carrie, I missed this post while Ive been dealing with my own crazy life. Dont you wonder how some people get through their trials with out believing in God? I cant even imagine not praying and recieving peace. or not being able to take all my worries and drop them at his feet! theres a song that goes, "I cast all of my cares upon you.. I lay all of my burdens down at your feet, and any time that I dont know what to do, I cast all of my cares upon you!"
Hang in there.. life is an adventure. looking foreward to hearing whats around the bend!

Terri said...

Carrie, I haven't visited in a while...I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Your faith is incredibly strong and your heart is full...I will be praying for you and your family. Terri

Nishant said...

Your wildest dreams are getting ready to come true.
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Dena said...

Dearest Carrie,

I found you through a friend (Becky of Sweet Cottage Dreams) and wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your post. From a boat right next to you, oars in the water...I see land ahead.

Huge hugs,

Gmama Jane said...

I read this post last year but didn't comment. However, I wanted first of all to check and make sure you are doing Ok and to tell you my daughter and SIL have gone thru the exact same thing this past year. They are not quite as far down the road as you but needless to say they have found out how unimportant THINGS are. They are now in a rental house much better than the original house...smaller but more adaptable for their handicapped son. God has blessed over and above. SIL received a raise and even tho they lost much they gained even more!! Blessings to you
Gmama Jane

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